Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
