And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
