What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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