Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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