she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
