let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
