(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you had me at cake vodka
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
PANTIES FOUND
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