I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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