So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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