you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize