We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
