my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
