I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
