it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The air taste purple.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
