Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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