just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
