im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
