Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
