i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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