I accidentally burped into my bong.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
