I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
