So drunk, too bad you don't want this
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
