did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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