Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
