And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
