If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
