it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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