Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
did i walk over a car last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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