I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
