I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
