So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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