He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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