Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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