that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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