That's intense
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
