Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
