Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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