smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
