kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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