im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
