This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i already hear my dad disowning me
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
