Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
