her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
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Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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