I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
