i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
