I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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