i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
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