I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
