It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize