Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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