I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
