Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize