And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
