Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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  (303): I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow? http://tfl.nu/hnqf
  Replies (12) Good night (3406) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This girl wants me to lick her pits

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  pits??

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though

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  (402): This girl wants me to lick her pits (1-402): pits?? (402): Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though http://tfl.nu/86dv
  Replies (33) Good night (900) Bad night (4320)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

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  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (2339) Bad night (28910)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Let's make jello shots for tomorrow

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What's going on tomorrow?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nothing, it's Wednesday

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  (913): Let's make jello shots for tomorrow (1-913): What's going on tomorrow? (913): Nothing, it's Wednesday http://tfl.nu/pnp1
  Replies (29) Good night (11046) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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  (505): Apparently senior citizens don't like that position http://tfl.nu/ttsr
  Replies (34) Good night (1207) Bad night (5568)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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  (805): I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on. http://tfl.nu/fosj
  Replies (8) Good night (4170) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.

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  (847): she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay. http://tfl.nu/cwvk
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (3094)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he made a bald eagle out of coke lines

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  (818): he made a bald eagle out of coke lines http://tfl.nu/gy34
  Replies (5) Good night (2381) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?

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  (813): I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2? http://tfl.nu/8h9n
  Replies (16) Good night (1854) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.

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  (440): i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it. http://tfl.nu/zxnq
  Replies (2) Good night (1584) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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  (310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh
  Replies (7) Good night (1127) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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  (201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h
  Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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  (516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9
  Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.

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  (785): How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila. http://tfl.nu/btl9
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend

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  (614): I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend http://tfl.nu/qkfk
  Replies (5) Good night (375) Bad night (139)

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