with your own penis?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.