Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"

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(703): View more from Virginia

bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..

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(303): View more from Colorado

Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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(847): View more from Illinois

as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP

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(408): View more from California

I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty

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(318): View more from Louisiana

If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???

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