I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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