nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
