yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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