Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the day after is always just damage control
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
