this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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