yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
