I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
