it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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