No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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