So drunk its hurt
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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