His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
