The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
