I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
